It Will All Be Fine In '09

My first blogger Joke for 2009:

A Blogger was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a psychic's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

The blogger readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend." "That's true," he said. "Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?" "Yes," he shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?" "Love line? No, from the calluses," replied the psychic.

Happy 2009 y’all! It's a brand New Year!

And of course as it has been tradition in my family for years now I had the usual New Years Meal for '09 (See Pic). It included turnip greens, black eye'd peas, mashed potatoes with pork roast gravy, cornbread, baked beans, macaroni & cheese and one of the best Pork Roasts I think I have ever cooked in my life. Oh yea, and for desert we had Peach Cobbler.

I have a new tag line for this year, "It Will All Be Fine In '09."

I haven’t been around the computer world as much for the last week or so as I have been really sick, nothing really to talk about just sick enough I did not feel like doing any computing of any kind, at all! I hope I will be getting better soon and get back to where I was and that is blogging and vlogging on a daily or semi daily basis.

Oh boy! It’s that time of the year again. It's time for me to make my New Years Resolutions for this year. What is a New Years Resolution you ask? Well, a New Year’s Resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to something or the changing of a habit, often a life style change that is generally interpreted as something that can benefit you in the long run, one way or another. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day and remain until fulfilled or usually abandoned. The way to keep a New Year's resolution is to pick a good goal and then overhaul your life to in order to meet it.

Duh!! Boy am I preaching to the choir on that one! Overhaul, yea right!

But some of you are saying, hold it, my goal isn't big enough to require a change of my life. Maybe your goal for the year is to, say, clean out your garage. And of course you don't think this is not material for a New Year's resolution. All it requires you to do is cross a day out on your calendar and tell yourself that's your garage day. Done! You could still make it a resolution and look at it this way, if you work it right, it could end up being one that you actually could keep.

Do you know why most people, myself included don’t keep their New Years' resolutions?

Why? It's because the resolutions are horrible. The absolute worst things you can think of to try to do in one year. You know, the hardest part of a New Year's resolution is choosing one to resolve to do, not keeping it.

Almost every year one of my resolutions like many other people has been to lose weight. But now, since there are more overweight people in America than the average weight people. So overweight people are now average by my calculations which means I have met my New Year's resolution already this year and I don’t have to do it again. I win!!

So here we go with my NEW 2009 New Year’s Resolutions.

• I will no longer waste my time relieving the past instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

• I will *TRY* give up chocolates totally and 100% completely. Honestly....

• I will try to understand why I REALLY do need seven different e-mail addresses and four phone numbers.

• I will stop sending e-mail and text messages to someone I am on the phone with, all at the same time.

• I will spend less than two hours a day on the Internet. This of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher at all and tend to loose track of time. (cough!)

• I will read the user’s manual I swear, just as soon as I can find out where I put it. I hope I did not throw them away…

• I will think of a password other than "mypassword."

• I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine. If that fellow who smells like he is alergic to water and soap sits next to me again at the doctors office, I am gonna tell him he stinks this time!

Well that’s it for me. Let’s see how many of these semi-realistic resolutions I can actually end up keeping and doing.

Remember y'all, “IT WILL ALL BE FINE IN ‘09”

Happy New Year!